A Year

We started our adoption journey in November of 2011, well, we started making plans anyway. We started with research and all that jazz, presented the idea to the kids...we didn't find our agency and official begin the process until the first check was written--December 15, 2011. I thought for sure the process would be quick and relatively simple. I mean, we are a pretty awesome family, we have lots to offer, love, compassion, fun, faith, laughter, adventure.....I was determined that as soon as we went into the match book, we would be matched. I rushed through everything, the classes, the home study, I stayed über busy. AS the clock ticked closer to our letter being put into the match book, and receiving our licensing from the state, my heart began to race and my excitement peaked. I barely hesitated buying little things for the baby. At first I tried to take it easy and just wait, for crying out loud, we didn't know if we would have a boy or a girl and I do NOT want to dress a baby in the wrong gender clothing, but waiting took too long. So, I went gender neutral, we picked up a swing, a play pen, a crib, a car seat, a few basics, cloth diapers, some bottles. Knowing there wasn't much more to buy, we waited and waited and well, we are still waiting.

Let me tell you, the wait is the hardest part of this process. At first, I wouldn't leave a room without attaching my phone to my body, I couldn't bare the idea of missing "the call", however, as time is passing, I am starting to inch further and further away from my phone. I don't jump and hold my breath when it rings, I don't dive across counters trying to answer it before voice mail picks up. Don't get me wrong, I am still crazy excited and can hardly wait until our baby comes home, but I'm just not looking at the situation with as rose colored lenses as I did in the beginning. 

Maybe the glisten has dimmed a little due to the fact that we are now on our THIRD caseworker. First we had Summer, but for whatever reason she was asked to step in and help with the pregnancy department and her caseload was too big. So we were traded off to Tandie. We met her once, and saw her int he office the one time we had a match meeting. Then, we call her to ask about a child in the foster system (another post) and she informs us that she has been promoted and we will now be working with Renee. We were assigned to her on December 17-wow, almost a year to the day from that first check. : / It doesn't make you feel real good to be shuffled around. I have definitely questioned whether or not we have been traded because we are unlikable or because they feel we are unmatchable.

Hmmmm, anyway, it's been a long year, but we are not giving up. God works in crazy ways and always provides...so in my heart of hearts, I know He will provide here too.